BACKBONE
YOU are the creator of your own life, it's a fact.
If you want to see changes push yourself to figure out how and pursue it! Otherwise you'll be left with a sense of not being happy and dissatisfied. It can be hard and uncomfortable however it is at these moments you'll grow and evolve most and actually end up becoming happier then you were before. Ask yourself the kind of life you want to lead, fuel the journey by exercising your love and passions and let things manifest naturally. I believe you have the backbone to the lead the life you want, you just have to start ;)